Thankful

In a little over 2 hours we will be checking in a Baylor Grapevine to have baby #2. Owen August, by all accounts up to now, seems to be healthy, BIG, and with enough hair on his head to give me indigestion. And all of this makes me thankful, but doesn't stop the worry on my part about the C-Section or the complaining on my part about sleepless nights and uncomfortable pregnancy norms.

With all that said, I made a small tactical error this morning. If you know me, you know I am nothing if not a planner and today has been no different. Since we're leaving the house at 8, I set my alarm for 7:00am so as not to give myself too much time to dwell on the day, nor to get too little sleep last night.

I made it till 6:00am. Birds, daylight, a busy brain woke me from there. Not bad though.

I came downstairs to watch TV and not eat breakfast (weird truth be told, that's been my biggest worry today) and I clicked through my feedler to look up today's new posts from blogs I follow.

This is SkinnyMeg this morning:

http://www.skinnymeg.com/2013/06/braydens-buddies.html

Have you ever started reading something, or watching a show, and realizing too late that that's where the story is going? You thought, "Oh! The woman who makes those awesome headbands has a kiddo with cancer and this is how you donate! Cool!"

The woman who makes those awesome headbands had a child with cancer. He was 5 when he passed.  He spent 13 months on this earth after a diagnosis of the most aggressive type of brain cancer. She talks about his last days, how she just held him after he passed.

I just lost it.

When you bring a child into the world, you always hope they will be smart, or athletic, or witty, or thoughtful, or all of the above. When prompted: do you hope it's a boy or a girl? People often answer "we just hope it's healthy" as a stock remark.

But really, I just hope he's healthy.

I read a story like Brady's and wonder, how does anyone make it through the other side on something like that? How do you deliver a perfectly healthy baby boy in June and in a few years, after no warning, no symptoms, lose that boy?

The answer of course is God. And that, you don't ever come out the other side, really. I think your life diverges at that moment and you come out of the dark woods, but on a different path than you started. For better or worse, that new path is your only choice, you can't find the old one if you wanted to. But again, God has a plan for all of us. For the planners among us it can be hard to let go of our petty, earthly struggles and pass them on to him. But the eternal reward is certainly worth the earthly struggle. A struggle that can be greatly lightened by passing all of our cares on to him. 1 Peter 5: 6-7

So, to Mr. Owen August Randall, I say this:

Welcome to the world little man! It is bright, and loud, and filled with people who love you. But more importantly, you will be welcomed here as a child of God (as all children are), with parents and a family who will help you walk in his path laid out for you, as long as he chooses to number your days.

I love you! Can't wait to meet you!

Mom